Friday, April 15, 2011

Why can't we all play nice?

There has been a bit of a buzz around the blogsphere about people in the vintage scene being rude, mean and judgmental of others. What is up with that? It is never ok to make rude comments about someone's body. Come on, ladies! We all have things about ourselves that we'd like to change. Why do we feel the need to make fun of others? We all know how hurtful it is. Unless it's a case where a person is endangering their health, let's all keep our mouths shut!

It is also important to give our fellow bloggers the benefit of the doubt. We've all had moments where we say something and it doesn't come out right or people don't take it the way we meant it. And it's so hard on the internet to get those context clues that are all in our speech. I know that all of the bloggers that I read are very kind and caring people. Sure, there are some duds out there who will be insulting and mean but most of us don't set out to hurt or offend people. If you really feel that a blogger has said something offensive, consider contacting them in private or just stop following them if they bother you that much. And remember, we are all entitled to our own opinion so maybe we can just agree to disagree.

Now that I've covered respecting other's bodies and minds, let's talk about fashion. I've never seen it, but I have heard stories about vintage lovers putting down others because they don't dress purely enough-whether by not being historically 'accurate' enough or by having a rockabilly side. First off, those of us who choose to wear vintage, choose to dress outside the social norm. We all want people to accept our sense of style and not make fun of us. It's important for all of us to extend this respect to others, even if we really don't care for their style. Secondly, there is a right and wrong way to tell someone they are wearing a 30s dress and a 50s hat. We all were beginners at one point and time. Hopefully, we remember this and take an attitude of sharing knowledge about something we are passionate about rather than chastising someone. Also, look around you next time you are out at the mall. Is everyone you see perfectly styled? Definitely not! Why do we expect people of the past to be any better? We carry last season's purses and sometimes make a fashion faux pas. So, consider the fact that not being spot on a periods fashion trend might be more historically accurate. Don't forget that maybe some one did that on purpose! Some people like a more qwirky style and I say rock on!

Now, I don't think that this means that you cannot have standards when it comes to fashion in general. I know that I myself have modesty standards that seem really high in modern culture. But even when I see someone who is violating my standards, it's not ok to make personal insults. Try "I don't like what you are wearing because it is immodest" instead of "You're a slut!", for example. Somethings that I think are good to have standards on are fit (clothes should), modesty (I really don't care to be able to tell what kind of panties you put on this morning), and wearing pjs and undergarments as clothing (these should stay at home!). And there is a difference between dressing badly and dressing oddly or in a way that doesn't appeal to you. I'm guilty of having the wrong gut reaction to the goth/emo trend that is popular right now. I'm also not a fan of facial piercings and tons of tattoos, but just because I think a person would look better without them, I don't have the right to insult them or dismiss their fashion choices. I know there are tons of ladies out there who love their tattoos and who am I to say that they are wrong or somehow a bad person?

Anyways, that's my thoughts on the subject. Let's all play nice.


  1. Oh my gosh, I just wrote like 5 paragraphs and it didn't go through!
    But to recap- I totally agree. It's a shame people feel the need to put each other down or to react to people putting them down, and I would hope that people wouldn't discount people or friendships just because of clothing or appearance becausse it's true that "clothes don't make the man".

  2. I'm an era whore and proud of it. If someone wants to get stuffy, then I won't bother reading them.

    Who was talking smack about whom? Seems odd. I find the sewing blogosphere (maybe the vintage girls are cattier?) to be lovely and kind and supportive, almost to the point I wish someone *would* say to me "Steph, that outfit is a baaaaad idea." It's almost too nicey-nice out there, kind of weirds me out sometimes.