Life Lessons from "What Not to Wear"

I have watched a lot of What Not to Wear. It has taught me a lot of things-how to dress my body type, how to objectively decide if a style is flattering on myself, how to let go of clothes that just aren't working for me, how a bit of effort in the make up and hair department can make a big difference in how you look, and how the right clothes can make any woman confident and beautiful. But it has one other message that is perhaps the most valuable.

What you wear says something about yourself to the world. Whether you think about it or not and whether you mean it or not.

So what do your clothes say about you?

The fact is that people are visual creatures and we judge each other based on appearance, especially initially. It's been that way since the beginning of time and I don't think it's ever going to change. Here's why: In order to make decisions, we need information. And the quickest source of information we can get from another person is their appearance. When that's all you have to work with, that's all you have to work with. And sure, with time and a relationship with another person we can reach beyond that initial judgement and change our opinion of someone but a lot of times, we don't get that far.

What we say with our clothes is important because researchers have found that most communication is nonverbal (though they can't seem to agree on exact percentages). If clothing really says nothing about ourselves, why bother dressing up for things like an interview or meeting your future in-laws for the first time? Why bother with fashion at all?

The business world really understands this principle. They say dress for the job you want not the job you have. Dressing in a professional manner at work says I care about my job, it is important to me and I am willing to put forth the effort. Dressing unprofessionally says quite the opposite.

Unfortunately, the way most women dress today sends quite a negative message to the world about themselves and women in general.

I don't care.

I have no value.

I've given up.

I'm insecure about myself.

I am a sex object.

I don't deserve better.

I'm desperate for attention.

I'm just looking for a "good time".

I am not more than my body.

Are these really the things we want the world to think about us and about women? Yet women are time and time again wondering why they are treated the way they are treated, why they are invisible or only visible from the neck down. In the real world, actions have consequences even unconscious actions. And people are much more apt to believe how you act and what you do rather than what you say.

We can say that people shouldn't judge other people but that doesn't fix the problem. I can't change other people. I can only change myself.

So I ask again, what do your clothes say about you? If you don't like the message you are sending, why not try sending a different one?

I respect myself.

I am important enough to myself to take care of me.

I live life purposefully.

I am a strong confident woman.

I am a human being with feelings.

I am working to improve my life.

I love myself.

I want relationships built on trust and respect.

I have thoughts that have value to the world.

Who knows, maybe if women demanded respect from the world not just with our mouths but with how we dress and how we conduct ourselves, maybe the world will finally listen.

Or maybe I just think way too much about clothes.