Friday, June 29, 2012

On Vanity

Those of us in the vintage community are used to being over dressed. In general, I enjoy being the best dressed person at an event but sometimes I just feel, well, vain. Perhaps it is my chosen profession. Chemists are among the people expected to have the least amount of fashion sense.


See, it's all lab coats and safety goggles. It's not that chemists can't look nice. I know some who do, but with wardrobe limitations due to safety and the natural hazard to anything you might wear due acids and other gnarly chemicals, it doesn't exactly encourage a trendy wardrobe.


I often fear that I will be perceived as less serious when I dress in such an overtly fashionable way. And it is true that the bulk of my wardrobe is completely inappropriate for work. *sigh*

Yet there is another arena of my life where fashion is utterly inappropriate. I go to a very active and involved church, which is not a problem in itself, but we meet in a riding arena. Dust, dirt, cats, horses, no ac, no central heating and an entire pit of sand to walk in. Don't get me wrong. It's a nice riding arena and there have been loads of improvement since we first moved our church there, but most people dress appropriately for the conditions.




And then there's me who can't remember the last time she wore a pair of sneakers. And I wouldn't wear them to the arena anyways because they are suede.

But all of these are really just reflections of the attitude prevalent in modern society. People marvel at me when I wear hats but for hundreds of years, no woman would dare leave the house with her head uncovered. Even in the 50s hats were a regular part of a woman's wardrobe. Oh, for the days when showing your ankle was scandalous! Now I can barely walk out the door without seeing some shirtless, overweight middle aged shirtless man and the undergarments of 9/10 of the young women I see.

Compared to the low standards of modern society, I don't see myself as vain at all just putting in a bit of effort, but that doesn't keep me from feeling that way.


I like nice things. I have pretty and impractical shoes. My one pair of rtw shorts come from White House Black Market. I adore giant poofy skirts. I pin curl my hair. I wear red lipstick and winged eyeliner.

And tonight, I will be going to my church's 4th of July fireworks event. It will likely break 100 F and it will be crazy humid. I will be wearing a dress and a crinoline and red lipstick. But I will be practical and leave my hat at home.

And mostly, I'm ok with that. What the average person doesn't realize is that it doesn't really take that much effort to look great. A cute dress is easier to slip on than jeans and a t-shirt. I spend less time on my hair than most teenage girls. And red lipstick is not hard to wear. It just takes courage.

So here is my message to all of you whether you are already a fashionista or if there is a stylish woman inside of you who has been too scared to break out of her shell. This is the message that I have to tell myself sometimes when I look in the mirror.

It's ok to be fabulous. It's ok to be different. It's ok to be beautiful.





This is how I feel fabulous and different and beautiful. Sometimes, other people may make you feel bad for being fabulous and different and beautiful but you can't let them keep you down.

And now I have to go do my hair and put my lippy on.

24 comments:

  1. I love you, babe. And I love this post.

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  2. You are a very beautiful, modest and classy woman. There is nothing wrong with that. You are not vain. You like nice things and you like looking nice- that is a wonderful thing and I will always support your "fabulousness" even if I don't quite understand or like it as much as I would like : )

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  3. I've been following your blog for a while now, without actually becoming an official "follower," but I signed up today because I just had to comment on your post - I feel exactly the same way! I'm a vintage enthusiast as well and I very often feel overdressed compared to everyone else around me, but I can't help it, I love dressing the way I do! I get tired of people thinking that I'm too dressed up to be able to participate in activities - let's go for a long walk, my pretty vintage shoes are probably sturdier and more comfortable than the skimpy little sneakers that you're wearing. Let's go to a baseball game - I guarantee I will be cooler and more comfortable than you in my light cotton dress and sandals than you are in that heavy jersey and denim shorts. I don't think it's vain to take a little pride in your appearance, it's not vain to do something that makes you feel happy. When we feel good about ourselves, we can help and inspire others to do the same!

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  4. I LOVE THIS Friend.

    Signed the girl who is wearing a blue CK dress when every one else is observing jeans Friday. (Rachel)

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  5. I love this! I so admire all the ladies who dress in the vintage style, and am gradually adding elements of it to my own style:)

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  6. I like alpak's idea of going to a baseball game : )

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  7. I too work in a lab, though microbiology, not chemistry and I can relate to it not being practical to dress up for work. I love the post you just wrote! It makes me want to go home and get dolled up. :]

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  8. I don't see it as vanity. I feel very similar to you. I often wear my vintage/vintage insp or at least over dress for church. I do know how to do make-up very well and clothing, but I'm still pretty uneducated on hair. :-/ But practice makes perfect.

    I really wish I could do vintage every day, but my lifestyle and bank account won't let me. However, I do try and look put together if I leave the house, or even just run errands like grocery shopping.

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  9. I don't feel that trying to look your best at all times is a bad form of vanity. In fact I wish more people cared about it. I went to a really nice wedding the other day and there was a guy wearing jeans and a girl wearing a see through top with a bra and pants. Seriously??? Can't you guys wear slacks and a dress for just one darned day???? People are lazy and have no decorum. What I like about the vintage world is that we care about those things and take great measures to look proper.

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    1. Some of my husband's relatives who shall not be named showed up to my wedding in jeans.... I was so pissed! Really, it should not be necessary to say no jeans on a wedding invitation.

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  10. Love this! I am 32 weeks pregnant with our third child and have made almost all of my maternity wardrobe from vintage patterns. I hate going to the Ob and seeing all these pregnant women in sweats and daisy dukes, mini skirts, and tube tops. Seriously inappropriate, and yet when I come in with my hair pin-curled, lipstick, flats (cause the swelling finally got me out of my heels, lol), and 40's pinafore maternity dress, I'm the one that's labeled inappropriate. I go to a church in an old fashioned church house and am still overdressed comparatively. And at 100 degrees, I think flowy dresses are way more comfortable and cooler. I say let's go against the tide of pajama pants and messy buns and sweat suits!

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    1. I agree that dresses are much cooler! People always use comfort as an excuse to dress down but dresses are so easy to wear!

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  11. I don't understand when laziness and t-shirts overtook class and a dress. I'm about to go to college where I feel like I'll stand out in my handmade dresses in a sea of sweatpants. Thanks for a great post; it's a great reminder that we're not really alone!

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    1. College kids are some of the worst! Either it's I just got out of bed and didn't feel like putting on real clothes or I'm going out and even though it's 40 out I have to show everything off. Don't be afraid to stand out though!

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  12. Love this attitude! Keep on being fabulous. I don't think it's vain at all to want to dress nicely and feel good about yourself!! :)

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  13. A great big AMEN to this entire post. I feel exactly the same way and the feeling of being overdressed and/or vain has sort of kept me out of vintage for the past few months. Thank you for the encouragement!! :)

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  14. Love this! I firmly believe people have forgotten the art of dressing. You don't have to "fancy it up" to look good and just because you want to look nice, it doesn't mean you're vain.

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  15. What a terrific post, Stephanie! I do not think people like us our vain, I simply feel that society has been deconditioned from learning to dress appropriately and taking pride in one's appearance. If that's still considered vanity, then I'm vain, too! LOL!

    I am always the one overdressed, always! I'm often the only one in a dress or skirt and blouse and with my hemline at my knee and no higher. I'm on the hunt for a good knee length petticoat - email me if you have any suggestions :)

    I'm a secretary by trade and get to work with a lot of Masters and PhD students who are just as nerdy as me! They are so curious about my sewing - even the men!

    Thank you for writing such a lovely post. It's just what I needed to read today.

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  16. Love this post. As I've recently become reacquainted with my love of vintage, I've been shedding the suburban mom uniform of practical jeans and v-neck T-shirts for more vintage-inspired looks. Just today I was asked why I was all dressed up for casual Friday. Looking around town as I run my errands, I realize most people don't even try. All it takes is lipstick and a bangle bracelet to set me apart. It's a process not to feel self-conscious, but I'm enjoying dressing up even a little bit. I saw a great video from Dita several months ago, in which she talked about how much more confident she feels about herself when she's dressed up and how that helps her handle whatever life throws her way. Thanks for the awesome post.

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  17. Oh yeah, I always got staaaaaaaares in the chem lab for being so fabulous when everybody else wore trackies!

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  18. Excellent attitude, dear gal. I've never once worried about if others perceived me as being over dressed, because I wholeheartedly subscribe to the theory that society, as a whole, has woefully lost touch with what it means to dress respectfully, modestly, and attractively.

    I believe that everyone is entitled to dress as they desire, but I do wish that there were more like us (vintage wearing gals here) out there who were willing to put a bit more class, thought, and care in their appearance.

    ♥ Jessica

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  19. Thank you - I aspire to be as brave and over come the over dressed / vain self doubt! I have the lippy and am slowly constructing the dresses, I just need to find the courage to combine it all! Thank you for the affirmation, I may well borrow it!

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  20. I always overdress for the occasion...as being socially 'awkward' I'd rather be overdressed and have everyone else wonder if they should have dressed smarter than arrive looking scruffy and feel selfconcious.
    As for the labFashion thing, you could make some nicely tailored lab coats...and a matching snood?

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